Decluttering today, less stress tomorrow

Since writing this original blog in November 2017 professional organizer and author Maria Kondo has created a Netflix series "Tidying Up with Maria Kondo".  If you don't have Netflix don't worry, many of the tips can be found in today's Washington Post article reviewing the show or by continuing to read this blog.

Admit it, we are all guilty of becoming packrats.  My husband often says if there is an empty surface I will fill it.  A home full of stuff becomes overcrowded and the process of purging can be daunting.  It takes discipline to keep a home clutter free.  Little inactions and bad habits can lead to a messy cluttered environment.

Studies show that clutter and disorganization decrease productivity and efficiency. To learn more about the health impacts of clutter click here. Another thing my husband always says is that "everything has its place".  He gets upset with me if I take something out and don't return it to the cabinet or drawer.  I know he is correct as I have often misplaced my keys or forgotten where I last left an item.  This seems to happen when I am in a rush or desperately need to get out the door.  Sound familiar?

After going through decluttering and organizing my deceased parent's home last year in Florida,  I came to realize how burdensome the disarray of accumulated papers and things really is.  There were so many things acquired and held on to that were totally useless and unpurposeful.  I came home from an intense period of deep cleaning and made a promise that I would not do the same with my own home.  Over the past several months I have been in a constant tug of war of keeping up with cleaning and avoiding unnecessary new acquisitions that just take up space.  I think to myself "do I really need this now" before making any purchase.

If you can answer yes to any of these questions then you may also share this problem.

*Do you grab your mail from the mailbox, give it a quick skim and set it aside on your kitchen counter?

*Do you have to dig to find your dining room table before hosting a dinner party?  How about your workdesk?

*Do you throw everything in a pile in your garage when you need to make space?

*Do you have all of your kids art projects from their first day of school through college graduation?

*Did you save magazines but never get around to reading them?

Fear not, there is great advise out there on how to declutter.  To start you may want to check out these articles:

Tracy McCubbin, a professional organizer from dClutter has five easy areas to tackle in your house.

Vermont mother and author, Eve Schaub recently published a book called Year of No Declutter for advise on how to keep your children's things organized.

Lastly, Japanese organizer Maria Condo's book shares advice from her book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up  on  You Tube.

If you don't have the time or energy to tackle organizing on your own or need a jump start there are professional organizers available to help.  As a realtor, I have a network of great resourceswww.wendybcb.com 

If you can't find my contact info in your cluttered address book you can simply contact me at wendy.bornstein@nemoves.com.

To save or to sell- the inherent risks of collecting

We all know collectors.  My Dad was a compulsive one, a collector of collectibles ranging from biblical antiquities, books, old newspapers,  and American ephemera to ball point pens and elastics.  The typical collector enjoys the fun of the chase and never has enough.  They often have a hard time departing with their amassed legacy.  The thrill is in the hunt and lasts only a few days until new prey comes along.  I grew up in such an environment and will reflect upon experiences learned along the way.  About a year ago my brother and I were in the midst of selling our deceased parents estate which was an accumulation of 140 years of combined collections.  The collection was located in their condo on the west coast of Florida.  We both live up north.

With the impending hurricanes a few weeks ago I have been thinking more and more about the philosophy of collecting in general.  Our Dad would have been one of the ones who wanted to stay behind when told to evacuate during Hurricane Harvey or Irma.  He would have risked his life to preserve his collection.  To much of the millenial generation we live in disposable and replacement mode and can easily buy new things.  For my Dads generation people held onto their acquisitions with pride.   Luckily he did not have to make this decision, however I do empathize with the many who have had their homes and collected personal history's devastated this past September.

Back to my discussion,  there does comes a point when the collector can no longer collect and more often than not, their children don't have space or interest to sustain a said collection.   Often its location is no longer manageable.  Perhaps no one can explain this situation better than Ellen Stern in a New York Times article last week , where she highlighted the history of her husbands art collection.   After the Chase, the Long Goodbye.  The pieces you collect become a vested part of yourself and you begin to nurture them like children.  Ms. Stern took the longer and more difficult path to disperse of this collection after  her husband's recent death.  She is working with Sotheby's to begin the process of auctioning off key pieces beginning early November.  She is dedicated and able to spend the necessary time to pursue the best options to find new homes for several cherished items. 

We used a similiar auction house to deal with a specific subsection of our parents collection as we also wanted the assurance that each item would find a new loving home.  As a full disclaimer this was a luxury in that we were able to hold onto our parents property for an extended length of time to research optimal estate vendors.   Retrospectively this actual cost may have outweighed the benefit particularly if the hurricane were to hit last year.   This would have been a risk not worth taking as much may be been destroyed with flooding.

Many people in the position of needing to downsize or handle the sale of a deceased loved one's estate don't have time or money on their hands.  It is often common to have to empty the contents of ones property within a short time frame to settle the estate.  When time becomes an issue there are estate sale companies that can come in and handle the process from full house to broom swept floors for a price.  If you live out of state and have to deal with a family estate this may end up being your best option after weighing in  travel or shipping costs to physically deal with everything at a more convenient location.

Last week, coincidentally after reading the NYT article we had a presentation in my real estate office by a representative from one of the leading online estate sale companies.  This company will come in and assist home sellers with the almost complete liquidation of the internal remove-able contents of their property.  They will assess a monetary value to these items but typically take most items to a midwest offsite facility where they will sort through, price, photograph and set up an online auction for 5 days. All bids will start at $1 but collect close to market value as the auction time closes.  Generally they sell most items and will donate the balance.  Other companies will come in and do an onsite sale.   With this type of sale often the seller can put a reserve on items they don't want to sell below a certain selling point.

Depending on the timeliness and desired outcome of the sale, different options work for the specific situation.  The reality is that we can't take everything with us and in order to get the optimal amount for a collection one should really plan its demise while they are healthy and able.  My Dad knew the dealers he bought from and would have been able to obtain the most leverage if he tried to resell things instead of leaving all to us.  I am positive we sold much below appropriate value just because we had to get rid of things.  Leaving a collection to the hands of the next generation has inherent risks of not being as valuable to the new owner or not being appreciated for the same intrinsic value as the original acquirer. 

Having gone through the process of downsizing twice with my parents and in-laws I have learned a bit along the way.  I do admit that I put some reserves on a few of our parents items that now sit in boxes in my basement.  My husband too has boxes of stuff from his parents home. Much of what we have most likely takes up space and will take time to sell.  This makes it more difficult for us the think about downsizing which I often idealize toward as an empty nester.   A few days ago I drove by my parents house.  It was in process of being torn down.  It was quite sad to see but reminded me that there is no longer the childhood home for me to visit.  It is now the memories in my head that will continue to preserve the legacy of my our parents generation.

Wendy is a realtor with Coldwell Banker Needham.  Having earned her SRES she enjoys the opportunity of helping those who may need an extra hand in helping their loved ones deal with the stages of downsizing or transitioning from their primary home to the next phase. 

Transitioning to Senior Living Options

Discussing retirement and longterm elder care planning with ones parents can be an uncomfortable conversation.  Often the topic arises at a time of necessity.  When confronted with this situation, it may be difficult to objectively seek out the best options as time can become of the essence.  When my father-in-law became ill a few years ago we confronted this issue first hand.  He was having a difficult time walking up and down a short flight of steps and his primary care doctor became very concerned about his stability.  She feared he could potentially break his hip and stated she would not give him a medical release after a short inhospital stay to return home.  She said he needed to more to an assisted living facility or would eventually end up in a nursing home.  We panicked and in a one week turnaround had to find a place where he would be able to move with his wife that would be acceptable as their next home.  My mother in law was beginning to show early signs of alzheimers and also needed a better living situation.  She appeared very upset and resistant and did not want to leave their home of 50 years.  

Understandably it would be a challenge to move them both to a new place and make it their home.  In order to get them to agree to move it became important to emphasize the safety aspects of finding a new place.  Click here for some suggestions on how to Convince an elder.  We had to take my mother in law to see many places while my father in law was in rehabilation care.  We emphasized that she couldn't live with him any longer unless they both moved to a safe place.  We met with the marketing agents and had her dine at the places we visited.  They showed us their best activities and tried to embrace her interest.  A key selling point was the food at each venue.   

We were fortunate to find an assisted living facility that had an apartment available in the same area where they lived.  The building was brand new and they became one of the first residents.   Their new home was physically located behind the street where they raised their family and my mother in law could still do her usual daily routines including playing mah jong and going to the nearby hair salon and CVS.  My father in law would be able to get the medical attention he needed and both would have all the amenities including home cooked meals, personal hygeniene and health care services.  


Once we found the place,  my sister in law and I managed the transition process from beginning to end.  We had to plan which items they could bring to the new place, arrange movers, organize the items needed in the new home and for a few months we kept their primary home up and running.  We set their new place up to look like a smaller version of their primary home with many of their favorite furniture pieces including their bed and china cabinet as well as some artwork.  My in-laws adapted quickly and became very happy in their new home.  

At first they wanted to see their old place but after a few weeks seemed to feel this was their home.  A big help was that we visited constantly and ate with them in the dining room.  They got a lot of attention when they moved and seemed to enjoy being in the spotlight.  A key selling factor for them became the meals.  They felt like they were in a restaurent for each meal and particularly loved the desserts.  We treated this as their new normal and arranged to have frequent visitors until they started to phase in the activities available.   My father in law continued to have medical issues and found the care he received was essential while my mother in law became immersed in the social activities.  

After a few monthes we determined they were settled and would permanently stay at the facility.   We then were ready to prepare their home for sale.  Sadly we had to go through all their belongings and determine each items ultimate fate.  Their new home had limited space and if up to my mother in law she would want to keep every item she owned.  We had her work with us for a few days but then realized we were not getting anything done.  We soon started to go over and clean when she was busy and unaware we were doing the job without her.  As her dementia increased she soon forgot much of the task and soon things that were out of sight were out of mind.  We spent a few months cleaning and purging.    We spent countless hours going through over 50 years worth of accumulated stuff.  We donated much to Goodwill and called the trash man to come pick up filled barrels every Thursday during this time. 

At this point we did not know about most of the services available to help with this process and did the bulk ourselves.  We didn't think about doing an estate sale but now retrospectively definitely could have easily had a weekend garage sale to purge the bulk.  The benefits of an estate sale company is that they come in, organize and sell.  Then they typically will broom clean the place.  Instead towards the end we ended up hiring www.gotjunk.com to help us clean prior to listing to rid of the remaining clutter and empty the attic.  We ended up paying them to take away a lot that could have instead been sold.  Since this experience I have visited many sales where people buy just about everything from clothes to used tupperware and we could have sold it all.  I have now built a database of estate sellers to recommend to my future clients.  If only I had known 4 years ago.    

Once the house was emptied we had to also fix some minor things up prior to getting ready to sell.  We repainted, repaired some minor items and staged the place to look clean.  I took the role of Realtor at this point and worked to get the house marketed and sold.  The process became emotional for the family once an offer was made and my challenge became to keep this as the best deal for my in-laws. The main objective was to have enough proceeds available to pay for their new place.  It was a sad process and our best offer ended up being from a builder who has since torn down and rebuilt the house. I tell my family the house was the chapter of their life at this property and they were now entering a new chapter at the Assisted Living facility.  My in-laws transitioned smoothly and for them there was no looking back.   They ended up being very happy with the transition and we knew they were in a safe environment.  

I have since become interested in helping others going through this process and earned my SRES.  I have many good resources for baby boomers who may have parents going through this phase of life.  

Wendy recently joined Coldwell Banker Needham.  She has been a realtor for over 8 years and knowing the area quite well can share a hands on local perspective.   Feel free to contact her directly or click here http://www.wendybcb.com if you would like to learn more.  

What is an SRES and how can one help you?

I recently added the 4 letters SRES to my business card and email signature along with MBA.  I would like to explain what this Real Estate designation means and how it may be a valuable resource for my current and potentially new clients.   I have been a Realtor for close to seven years and have had interactions with several different types of buyers and sellers.  Through my recent experience of helping my in-laws and parents  transition from their primary residence to care facilities,  I learned a lot and feel this is an area where I can help others with similar needs.  

As a baby boomer and part of the sandwich generation,  we often transition from caring for our kids to caring for our parents .  When my youngest daughter left for college four years ago, naively my husband and thought we would at last become empty nesters.  That status lasted about one week when my Dad's ongoing ailments brought him to the point of needing palliative and then hospice care for about six weeks until he passed away.  Simultaneously my father in law began having problems with balance amongst other issues and we were told by his primary care doctor that he could no longer live independantly.  Unexpectedly, our family was thrown into the new roles of primary and subordinate elder care providers.

My first confrontation with the transition involved helping my in-laws downsize their home of 55 years.  Due to the above mentioned medical needs,  we had to move my father in law and reluctant mother in law to an assisted living facility.  This was a challenge as my mother in law at the time did not want to leave her home.  We had to explain that she would not be able to live with her husband otherwise.  Getting her to buy into the process was a challenge in itself.  Once we found a place, we had to facilitate the move-in and then the move out of their house which was packed to the brim with a lifetime of stuff.  

My sister-in-law and I managed the process from beginning to end and had to navigate the array of issues from deep cleaning and disposing of medicines, personal items, as well as hazmat items (my father in law was a chemist),  fixing up and doing a few minor updates,  and then listing and ultimately selling the property.   Of note, I was the listing agent but also was very intimately involved in the details as the seller ( my inlaws were unable to participate due physical and health issues.).  I now have a great database of the resources we used in the Metrowest area. 

About a year after my Dad passed away , my Mom became terminally ill and ended up staying in my house in the Boston area for treatment.  Her biggest fear was that she would become a burden to me and my family and that someone would have to take care of her.  She had a very strong resilience and wanted to be in full control.  It was hard for her to accept the help of others as she had been my Dads primary care giver for several years.  She ultimately wanted to return to her home in Florida where she would be surrounded by her friends and things and primarily her independence.  After 4 months of chemotherapy she was happy to return home where she wanted to spend her final days.  She was in her condo until the last days when she had to go under hospice care.  She ultimately made that decision as she knew she needed the comfort they would provide.    Mom was in control until the end and guided us with how she wanted everything handled. 

My brother and I inherited the estate and property in entirety. We had to clean out and prepare their condo in Florida for the market although we both lived up North.   Our parents had a vast collection of many specialty items and it was complex to go through this process.  Because we lived out of states complicated the process as neither of us could get away for long time periods.  Due to my profession as a realtor and more flexibility with time to travel to Florida most of the project fell on my shoulders.  It was initially very important for me to go through each and every item in their condo before I would let anyone help me clean it.  This took much too long.  I had to research and develop a help network in the Tampa area until I eventually relieved the intrinsic cost to my time and money outweighed the benefit.  See my blog for more details  (How to make downsizing easy for your kids, April 25, 2017).  The one major lesson I learned with this experience was that hiring professionals is a must especially if you live out of state.  Things that would take me weeks, could be curtailed and done by an independent professional who knew the best resources a in days.  

It can be overwhelming for someone to feel they are losing control of their situation and may have to depend on their children or caregivers for help.   Often emotions can block clarity to learning what the safest and best options may be at the time.  The parent may feel they are losing a perceived freedom of choice.  The family knows they are looking out for the parents best interest.  

To earn my SRES I had to go through a two day training program where we learned the various issues that often confront this population.  Although much of the curriculum was familiar to me, it was useful to gain insight into the specific needs of this niche.   We learned about available in-home care and housing options.  The class helped tailor my real estate knowledge to help those confronting a potentially stressful life change.    I truly enjoy face-to-face client and family meetings and have been trained to help in sometimes difficult conversations.

Some key points on the SRES website defining an SRES are: 

An SRES®understands that this can be a stressful time for a family. It's hard to deal with leaving a home after spending many years in it. Perhaps the parent would actually prefer to go on living there. Your agent wants to understand the challenges you all face in this major decision. By doing so, they can present all available options, so that the outcome is one that will suit the family's needs.

At times, the amount of information coming your way may seem overwhelming. An SRES® is there to help by tailoring meetings to a senior's needs. Don't be afraid to ask as many questions as you'd like until you feel comfortable with the steps to the sales process and other potentially-complicated details. An SRES® may suggest taking breaks so you can absorb the information, and may want to break up the prelisting-process over several visits to your home.

Change is always overwhelming but since completing the course I have been focusing a lot of my time into learning more about the available living options for seniors in my area.  In addition,  I have met with vendors who can provide services to help with downsizing, estate sale management, packing and cleaning services.  There are many resources available to make this transition less scarey and a meaningful experience if you have the right tools in place.  

As mentioned, my family went through the process without much guidance and had to navigate this unfamiliar territory on our own.  The skills I learned through this gave me more more hands-on experience than the classroom but I felt the added SRES would add the recognizable marketing credentials to my profile.  As an SRES, I personally enjoy  helping others who may be going through similar experiences where I can share my knowledge.  I look forward to being able to work with clients who may be approaching this challenge and hope I can make a positive difference in their lives. 

Wendy recently joined Coldwell Banker Needham.  She has been a realtor for over 8 years and knowing the area quite well can share a hands on local perspective.  She has also recently earned the SRES  designation and looks forward to helping other baby boomers as they approach their next transitions.  Feel free to contact her directly or click here http://www.wendybcb.com if you would like to learn more.  

How to make downsizing easy for your kids

A few weeks ago we closed on the sale of my parents Florida condo.   We successfully listed it in early March and it sold on the first day to market.  We had a cash deal and closed on March 31.  All this sounds like it was easy but to get to the point of being ready to sell culminated an almost two year process.   In this blog post I will detail each phase.

My brother and I inherited a 1600 square foot condo in the Tampa Florida area complete with over 100 years of collectibles from our parents and some that were passed down from each of their respective families.  As a "depression era baby"  Dad had very little as a child.  He became a hoarder and collected things of all sorts.  Many were highly valuable and some were only of value in his eyes.  He collected things ranging from pencils and steak markers from the Hilltop to a wide collection of historic memorabelia.  He thought his greatest gift to us would be to pass down a material collection which included books, albums, cds, State of Israel items,  Judaica, coins, stamps, ephemora, fossils, ancient tools, documents, autographs of politicians and celebrities, antiquities, political buttons, newspapers, paperweights, beer steins, Presidential dessert plates, postcards, and hold to light viewers, antique tools, small consumer electronic items, National Geographic and Playboy magazines,  Thomas Jefferson, Civil War, Slavery and other Americana,  and much much more.  Please see the photo at the bottom of this blog as it was his motto.

Initial Cleaning
Before we could even begin to go through the collection we needed to go through all the personal items.  When my Dad had passed away my Mom and I had donated much of his clothing and personal items to hospice to resell and I followed the same steps for my Mom's things after she passed away about 21 months later.  We donated clothing and unused medical items there and then blankets and old towels to a nearby pet shelter.  I disposed of all medications at an authorized disposal site.  Once this was cleared out the fun would begin.

Next the small stuff
The six room condo had bookshelves lining each room from floor to ceiling.  In addition when these became full there were stacks of books on the floors, under beds and piled in any open space possible.     Before one could even view the books, the shelves had to be cleaned because each shelf displayed chatkes or small collectibles in front of almost every book.  Each shelf had its own display of things.  It took a week just to sort through this and began my quest for storing them.  At Staples I found foldover display boxes and ended up filling about 30  In them were items of Judaica, postcards, models, small glass apothecary bottles, paper weights, and small antique cars for example decorating each shelf.  There were a lot of things to put it mildly.

I needed to sort and label items by like type.  Initially I set up a company to try to sell things online through both Amazon and Ebay seller accounts and at first thought this would be a fun venture.  I would try to sell some of the collectibles.   Then came the reality that the cost to ship things up North and the time involved would not be worthwhile except for easily transportable high value items.

The Books
On rough count I estimated about 6000 or more books.  Greg, my son came down one weekend and took over 100 for himself as he is the one grandchild to follow my Dads love of reading.  The cost of shipping was high and made me realize we had to just sell as many as we could in Florida.   The complexity came in the organization of the books.   Dad interspersed rare signed books with off-the-shelf current editions.  Often within a book one could find inserted a rare document or autograph.  Each book had to be manually examined and reviewed.  We ended up putting the very rare books aside in my parents bedroom and sorting through books that we thought we would sell.  We were able to donate a significant group of Holocaust related books to the St. Petersberg Florida Holocaust Museum where one of my Moms friends was a dossier.

After compiling over 250 bankers boxes filled to the brim with books one could not move around the place and it became impossible to go much further.  Through my network of Amazon sellers I found a local bookseller that was interested in buying my boxes of books.  He came with a huge truck and took the bulk of these boxes.  The condo seemed to have so much more room after this.

The Antiquities
Now we could see the glass display cabinets that were each lined top to bottom with hundreds of antiquities ranging from 1000-5000 years of biblical and world period history.  At first we thought we would be able to get a curator in to help us go through the items or they would be of interest to a museum but due to the UNESCO development to preserve World Heritage sites it became difficult to do this.  Items acquired between the 1980s through now require extensive documentation to show they weren't obtained through illegal black markets.  Much of Dads items were purchased during this time period but it would take a lifetime to physically match each document with each item something neither my brother or I had the time or interest in dealing with.  Of note,  it became hard for my brother to visit the project as often as I did due to his full-time job and having younger kids. I was able to go down to Florida about every 60 days.

We decided to have the antiquities professionally packaged and shipped to my house as Tampa Florida did not have the market for these items.  Fortunately we were able to work with a friend of my Dads at a later point to bring many to auction.

The Rest
Once the books and antiquities were gone one could start to see some light.  It took another month of sorting and categorizing things and then the realization that we needed to work with an estate sale company to sell the rest.  Through my work at my office and learning more about downsizing I researched and found a company called Organizing Life to help with this project.

The Estate Sale
After an initial assessment they were able to guide me with the steps we would need to do to run a sale.  The largest hurdle would be getting approval from the condo association which prohibits commercial sales onsite.  We fortunately were able to explain that we lived out of state and needed to have a sale to be able to clean the condo and sell it.  They were very nice and allowed us to do this while working within their parking guidelines.

Before they would be ready to sell they told me to put anything I didn't want sold in a locked room.  I had to go through each drawer, cabinet and closet and found many old items of personal value that I ended up shipping to Boston such as photo albums and birth certificates of great grandparents.  I still have about 10 boxes of stuff to sort through now in my house.

Hiring a professional company was extremely worthwhile and they were able to come in over the course of a week and organize, display, market and run a successful 2 day event.  At the end of the sale the condo was broom clean as they sold everything from the remaining collection to potholders in the kitchen.


Preparing the Condo
Now that the condo was empty it looked like a distressed property.  It needed a major paint job and new carpeting along with a few new amenities like light and electrical plates, a few light fixtures and window blinds.  I found a great local company Partners in Grime to help me with this process.  The did all the work and readied the place to sell in one week.

The Sale
Once the place had a face lift it was ready to go and we listed and sold it within one week.  Using my company Coldwell Banker was a huge plus as they have a strong worldwide marketing strategy.  We sold with no contingencies for cash and closed within 3 weeks.

The Lessons Learned
Less is more.
Collections are for the collector, not the next generation.
Its never too early to purge.

All our life our Dads greatest pride was his collection and it was the legacy he wanted to leave all of us.  He meant well and wanted us to have an inheritance that he thought he didn't have when his Dad passed away at age 16.   It is better to give away things when you can and not to expect the next generation to have the same interests.  A collection is for the collector and is hard to pass down. With each generation things become diluted.  The collection would first be split two ways to my brother and me and then six ways to the next generation.  None of us had the means or interest to keep it in "whole".  This required a permanent space.  It was better for us to let things find new homes where they would be better appreciated.  His legacy was more than his material things.

Both of our parents were very passionate and Dad shared his love of history and culture, while our Mom shared a strong ethical and Jewish faith in the home we grew up in .  They both were seen as educators and volunteers to make the world a better place.  I think my brother and I have learned a lot from both of our parents and the values they shared and we have in turn shared these with our children.   This is much more valuable than the material things they wanted to pass on to us.  Times have changed and people are living more minimalistic lifestyles these days.  No one wants a big home filled with stuff.   Children often move out of state and the average person stays in a home for seven years or less these days.  With each move is time to get rid of things vs acquiring more.  While we may cherish some of the material things passed on, I think their values are what will sustain us the longest.

Summary
The condo is sold and most of our parents things have new homes.  Their memories will last forever.

Wendy recently joined Coldwell Banker Needham.  She has been a realtor for over 8 years and knowing the area quite well can share a hands on local perspective.  She has also recently earned the SRES  designation and looks forward to helping other baby boomers as they approach their next transitions.  Feel free to contact her directly or click here http://www.wendybcb.com if you would like to learn more. 

The Challenge of Inheriting an Estate Collection... What Do You Do, Especially If Its Not Local?

Coincidentally as I was proof reading this blog an article came across my news feed regarding an MIT Professor who recently passed and had a massive book collection.  I too have recently confronted this dilemna with my parents estate in Florida.  Boston Globe article 

This weekend we are holding an estate sale at my parents condo in Florida.  This is the culmination of close to 3 years and multiple visits by my brother and me to Florida since our Dad passed away in October 2013 to sort his massive collection of historical items.  When our Mom passed last July the collection became ours.  A small amount of the collection included items my Mom cherished and many of these items will be preserved.  Since we both live up North and each have homes already filled with our own things, it would be impossible for us to retain the collection in full.  Although initially the thought of getting rid of things brought sadness to both of us the reality was that we are both nearing the time to downsize our own homes and between us none of our six kids want much.  Collecting is great for the person who is the collector but it is difficult to pass on in integrity to future generations.

The song "Let It Go"  Let It Go from the movie Frozen has particular meaning to me.  When I think of Frozen I think about the art of collecting.  Collecting allows someone to mentally remain in a particular period of time by holding onto items that bring that period to life.  The collector becomes "frozen" or paralized in their own reality world of the collection.  To my Dad,  this basically encompassed all of western civilization.   He was a compulsive collector of antiquities, coins, books. postcards, American ephemera, historic documents and newspapers, autographs, postcards, stamps, Judaica, Native American baskets and pottery, fossils, ancient weaponry, bone china, historic reproductions of ancient museum pieces, lps and cds, dvds, Civil War memorabilia, World War II collectibles, presidential and celebrity autographs, political campaign buttons and much more.

A close to 2400 square ft. three bedroom condo was filled to the brim from floor to ceiling with rare collectibles.  Many items were located on bookshelves or behind glass showcases as well as in file cabinets.   When these became filled the floors, closets and all visible and undersurfaces became home to the overflow.  Items of value where interwoven with items of relative intrigue.  To an outsider  the collection would appear to be a hoarders paradise.  To my Dad it was all part of in his legacy.

Dad's passion was the art of collecting and he went to all lengths to amass his habit.  He was always on the prowl.  Some say there is a fine line between collecting and hoarding and often this came into question as we sifted through many of his items.  To my Dad though, there was a purpose in every item purchased.  His brain was wired to be the original internet.  He collected in a manner that hyperlinked items to other items in the collection.  To better explain this if he owned a book on Thomas Jefferson,  he would also have an item he invented, a photo of that item,  a book with a reference to it, possibly the patent and then maybe a related item by a similar inventor.  The items would be crossed referenced in his head and located in several places throughout their home.

The complexity of the collection was "mind boggling", a favorite expression Dad used.   Because he spent close to 60 years putting this collection together it was much more than just stuff.  It became very important for us to find a right home for everything.  This became a project that truly is culminating after 18 monthes.  Because neither of us lived locally to the property it became more difficult a challenge to manage.  My brother works full-time as a Professor so it was harder for him to spend the time necessary to manage this process and thus it became primarily my project.  I had more flexibility as a realtor to be able travel when needed.  It took several trips to grasp and go through the inheritance.  It was necessary to cull through each and every items, sort it, select and distribute items of sentimental or intrinsic value to family members and then decide what to do with the rest.

The first step of the process involved going through each book in the collection.  The books were the bulkiest and took up a majority of space throughout the condo.  It would be impossible to ship these to Boston as there were so many and the cost and space would be prohibitative.  There were close to 8000 or more books.  Many were rare, autographed and first editions.  A larger portion were new books that one would find at a Barnes and Nobles type store.  The books were interspersed and I had to go through and separate the rare signed books.

I researched how to sell books online and set up Amazon and Ebay accounts as I first thought I would attempt to sell them on my own.  I also joined a Facebook group dedicated to advising online sellers.  Because I don't live in proximity to the books it became obvious that it would be hard to sell these online unless they were shipped somewhere for fulfillment.  I would not be local to ship things with a quick turnaround. Realizing this I asked for advice through the Facebook group and subsequently a Tampa area bookseller reached out to me to buy some books.  Through her she referred me to a an area bookstore seller who was interested in buying many of the books in bulk.  (I think he actually also may be a hoarder type).  After sorting through the ones I wanted to keep  he bought over 3000 books.  My son,  who also has a similar passion to my Dad ending up with about 500 books that are in my basement now.

Next I had to deal with the collectible items.  For some guidance I read Maria Condo's book,  The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up.  It became apparent that keeping much would only add to the clutter I was trying to rid in my own home.Although I ended up shipping several boxes of old photos, memorabilia and collectibles north to later diceminate, I tried to reduce this and will similarly re-sort things on my own turf.  As best as possible we located specialty dealers or auctioneers for rare items, donated books to a Holocaust museum in St. Petersburg,  donated consumer goods to a hospice resale shop,  and finally got the condo down to the point of doing an estate sale.

Last summer I went online to research estate sale companies and found a few near my parents place that specialized in high end estate sales.  After interviewing them we ended up choosing one that markets to end users and collectors and was well known in the area.   It is best to hire a professional company to come in and handle this process.  They will bring in specialists to appraise each item, set up and market their sale, run the actual days of the sale and then help the owner dispose of any unsold items by either donating or giving things away at the instruction of the owner.    It is important to find a reputable dealer and to obtain references and permissions to hold a sale, particularly if it is in a condo or apartment building.  The estate sale company has a following of consumers in Florida who often seek out these sales for their own collections.  As part of the process they require the owner to stay away from the property during the sale.  Although hesitant at first it is easier to not be there when strangers are going through your property.  My hope is that the items being sold will find buyers who will appreciate them as much as my parents did.

I now totally understand the emotional and physical challenge of preparing a home for an estate sale.  Although at first it was very hard to let go of many items, you just have to make up your mind to finally do it.   About three weeks ago my brother and I went down to Florida together to finalize the details of the sale with the estate sale company and handed over the keys.  We agreed to sell it all as it was time to move forward and let go of any freeze holding us back from selling the condo.  As an SRES I now have firsthand experience that I can share with my clients and their families.   I can be the local person to help if a client lives out of state but needs help with the process of selling their parents estate in the areas I serve as a realtor.  If you are a baby boomer or have parents who may need help preparing to downsize their home feel free to reach out to me as I am building a team to help clients with each stage of this process.  You can email me by clicking here  wendy.bornstein@nemoves.com.   Feel free to visit my Facebook page @WendyBCB Wendy Bornstein, @Realtor, SRES, MBA

Of note,  I am now getting ready for my next blog which will be about preparing the real estate listing for my parents estate.  Stay tuned.

Wendy recently joined Coldwell Banker Needham.  She has been a realtor for over 8 years and knowing the area quite well can share a hands on local perspective.  She has also recently earned the SRES  designation and looks forward to helping other baby boomers as they approach their next transitions.  Feel free to contact her directly or click here http://www.wendybcb.com if you would like to learn more.  

Out with the Old, In with the New

Are you thinking of making a change this year.  Is moving to a new home or renovating an existing property on your to do list? Although conceptually this may sound like an easy thing, often this morphs into a much larger project than expected.  It is important to know the local permit rules if you want to do a renovation.  This may entail approval by a local building department or conservation commission for example to add a room to an existing home.  Permitting is always required for home improvement projects to be up to code.

If instead you decide to buy a new house,  it is important to become familiar with the areas where you want to live, as well, as the financial requirements to be positioned when ready to make an offer.  You may be a first time buyer and if yes, it is good to understand the process of searching, finding and making an offer on a property.  If you are an existing property owner you will need to consider preparing your own property to sell or rent in addition to starting your own research on new properties.

Before one makes a major change it is always a good idea to start with a plan.  First I recommend writing down a few notes of what your goals are.  Next identify the steps you need to make to reach these goals.  Analyze the costs of if doing a renovation and if they will add value if you decide to sell the property in 5 years.  Do a bit of market research.  This can include reading articles, reviewing local building regulations, driving around neighborhoods to identify things you seen done to other properties,  looking online at magazines and property listing and then learning who the local specialists are in your area to help you make these changes and determine the costs.

Renovating can often take longer than planned and sometimes more money than anticipated.  You may want to weigh the cost benefits of this vs a move.   I would use the location as a major guide.  If you love where you are and there is limited property available a renovation that can add value is definitely worth considering.  If the renovation is very specific to your taste consider if you will be there long enough to enjoy the change as it may be hard to recoup your cost if you do plan to move in the next few years.

I am constantly reading local periodicals to keep on top of new trends and ideas for myself and my clients.  When seeking a new home the attached is a good preparation guide.  http://blog.coldwellbanker.com/new-year-new-home/  As you begin the process remember the local ones are the ones who know the area best.  If I don't know an area well I have a great network of locals in other areas I can refer you to.   I pride myself in being born, bred and now a resident of the metrowest area and am here to help once you are ready to tackle the spring market of 2017 in my area.

Wendy recently joined Coldwell Banker Needham.  She has been a realtor for over 8 years and knowing the area quite well can share a hands on local perspective.  She has also recently earned the SRES  designation and looks forward to helping other baby boomers as they approach their next transitions.  Feel free to contact her directly or click here http://www.wendybcb.com if you would like to learn more.