As We Celebrate Mother's Day What Makes You Happy?

 

We are often asked this question as an ice breaker with new friends, during job interviews, or at random social gatherings.  This topic comes up frequently. There are numerous books and google searches for the secret to happiness. It is asked in one form or another at every networking event attended. Happiness appears to be a trendy status measure and thus we are quick to answer.  The expectation is that everyone around us is happy. We are inundated with shares of how great life is on all forms of social media platforms. On the surface, it is easy to say we are happy but what does this mean? There is so much going on in the world, and to navigate life’s daily challenges, I have attempted to better understand my path to happiness. 

As an avid reader and student of life's curiosities, I began exploring this concept several years back when I read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  She looked at a multitude of things we normally do with ideas to be more intentional with focus. The goal is to make our lives more meaningful and fulfilling. My approach was to read one chapter per month as I tackled little things that made my day-to-day life happy. Examples included making time to listen to others, clearing physical space to be able to work, and exercising routines to clear my mind. I also read Maria Condo’s book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing and figured out how to find “joy” in the things I keep in possession. 

Last year I downsized and have started to begin a new life path that would allow me to explore this question in greater depth.  I am learning how to prioritize and say Let It Go to the things that weigh me down by setting boundaries and doing things I want to focus on. It takes self-awareness to learn to say no and that we can’t do it all.  There are only so many hours in a day and we need to figure out what will bring the most satisfaction for the effort expended. 

Over the past year, I have started to shift my career focus to freelance writing. I have been taking courses with the AWAI where this topic often comes up in writing prompts. Most recently as a writer, I began posting “happiness is” posts on Instagram as my form of a gratitude journal. I am trying to figure out what makes me happy on a more focused basis at the end of each day.

My passion has always been to help people find the right resources to achieve their goals.  I see myself as a connector.  I have been strong as a project manager and therefore my brain automatically thinks about the task at hand and the pieces needed to get the desired result.  This can be simple things like someone needing a helping hand with a household project or working with a non-profit to plan a fundraising benefit event. I particularly love things centered around the arts and have been a producer for over 30 community theater-based musicals. 

As I was thinking about this theme today as I just purchased tickets to see the revival of Funny Girl on Broadway this weekend. The song People had just come on Amazon music. I have always considered myself a people person. It clicked that this is what makes me happy. The opportunity for me to be around others to create a positive result from our connection makes me happy. 

In my new book Coffee Connections: Finding Common Ground Through My Daily Brew I use coffee to connect with others. The book's primary theme is how coffee meet-ups have served as a mechanism to find a common bonding before tackling a project. I flourish when I can be with others, and we connect for a mutually beneficial cause. This motivates and makes me happy. I guess I can answer the question as I better understand that “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world”. I hope everyone reading this will be inspired to figure out what makes them happy. Wishing all the great MOMS out there a Happy Mother's Day!!

Wendy is a Realtor and Freelance writer residing on Cape Cod. She enjoys networking and writing to connect her ideas and curiosities with people she meets.   She welcomes your comments.  

Thinking of moving? Now is a great time to repurpose Covid Fatigue to Prepare Your Home.

The real estate market is HOT in suburban and non-urban areas particularly since the onset of the covid-19 pandemic. This is a great time to sell or at least prepare your property if you are thinking of a near future move.  Since most of us are homebound over the next few months I thought I would share some steps you can take to get started.  Instead of succumbing to Covid fatigue perhaps this project will re-energize you.  

Take this opportunity to declutter, organize and fix up your space if needed. The goal will be to present the property as being well maintained. While it may be tempting to do a renovation or remodel, a renovation should only be done if the seller plans to stay in the home longer term to enjoy it. In general this cost will not be recuperated from the buyer. 

I always recommend minimal spending on home renovations unless there is a repair that will become a potential issue during an inspection.   Spend money wisely on cosmetic items that will give the home a fresh feel. 

If you have structural repairs that are of concern these should always be addressed as they will need to be disclosed by a seller.  While most of us are at home this is a great time to get estimates on needed repairs. You may be able to schedule these while working from home.  (Of note, Coldwell Banker offers a unique program called RealVitalize that allows sellers the opportunity to make needed repairs without upfronting the payment.  The settlement of the cost will be taken out of the proceeds of the sale.)  

More often than not there are many simple things a seller can do to prepare the property for sale on his or her own. Keep in mind that there is only one opportunity for a first impression, so you want to make it a good one. Why not take advantage of the time you have now to get started?

Curb appeal is key.  A seller should spruce up landscaping as well as exterior home features.  Touch up paint on home trim, door, outside lighting and the mail box will signal that the outside is well maintained.  Also it may be a good idea to buy a new welcome mat and check the foundation, steps, walkways, walls and patios for cracks and crumbling, and reseal if possible as well. .

Depending on the season or where you live you may want to trim hedges, clean the yard and plant bright flowers during spring time, keep lawn well watered in the summer, rake leaves in fall and keep outside walks clear during winter months.   

Inside the most important first step will be to declutter.  I recommend going through each room and determine which items you no longer need. The key is to show the property in the best possible light without distractions. Once decluttered go through each room and look for cosmetic items you can easier fix up to make the home feel fresh and clean.  

Some easy ideas may include cleaning all appliances, replacing any old worn or broken cabinet knobs and door fixtures. Also you may want to buy new guest towels and a a shower curtain to spruce up the bath.  Remember first impressions count and you want to do what you can to make a best first look.  Need more suggestions?  Feel free to reach out.

Wendy is a Realtor with Coldwell Banker Needham. She is available to help sellers prepare for the prospect of selling a home either virtually or in person.  For more information please email her at wendy.bornstein@nemoves.com or check her website at www.wendybcb.com.

ReCLUTTERing our Decluttering by Panic Shopping

I have written several posts about decluttering and downsizing and through most of my posts have tried to un-cover methods to get rid of things we don't need.  As the outbreak of COVID-19 is threatening pandemic proportions I am seeing the antithesis of this behavior and now have a greater appreciation for the hoarding mentality.  See BBC article on the psychology of panic buying here.  (It is my understanding that if exposed to COVID it is recommended to self quarantine for 14 days.)

There is something innate to our behavior that can make us become hoarders.  Can't we agree it is comforting to surround ourselves with a stocked pantry of favorite foods?  Our inner survival instincts drive us to buy in excess in fear of potential shortages.

Lines at the supermarkets and big chain warehouses have been out the doors.  There are shortages of hand sanitizer and cleaning products as people buy whatever is remaining.  This is creating a huge shopping frenzy as noted in Fortune Magazine here.  I am guilty of this too and have thus stocked up on non-perishables that could exceed a good 30 days.  I bought extra vanilla extract and chocolate chips yesterday in case I need to bake emergency toll house cookies.  I am also well supplied on paper goods but do we really need a that much toilet paper? (see Forbe's Magazine  )  Although comforted and well positioned I have recluttered my cabinets with things I don't necessarily need.  One does have to ask.......did the risk of buying three months worth of toilet paper at Costco outweigh the chance of exposure to a COVID carrier?  I guess I won't know this until 14 days pass and I still remain healthy.  (See added link re : Toilet paper stockpiling)

Consumers are irrationally stocking up on things they probably don't really need in fear of it not being available.  Once COVID passes will we realize we overbought and need to start the declutter process again?  At a recent meeting last week with a social worker, she suggested we all slow down a bit and take a deep breath.  She recommended I buy an app called Buddify and when I feel a major impulse or impending stress to take a walk or do a 5 minute guided meditation.  Perhaps we all need to do this and stay calm.  Perhaps we get a quick adrenaline rush of comfort by overbuying things we may already have adequate supply of.  

Like other viruses and health issues COVID will too come and go.  Most of us will be fine if we take the recommended health precautions.  Let's all calm down a bit and think rationally when out shopping.  Take inventory of what you really do need in at home in case you are quarantined.  But don't overdo it.  I came home from my Costco run only to realize I already had 3 boxes of Post Raisin Bran after buying a new box while there.

As one who has shared posts about declutting perhaps we need to remember that today's impulse buying may be tomorrows clutter.  There are shortages of things for no reason.  There are others who may really need some help with their food supplies.  If you realize you have excess that is not needed please remember its always welcome to donate to a local food pantry and to help those in need.  
                               

Wendy is a Realtor at Coldwell Banker Needham.  She enjoys writing, talking and helping people by sharing her unique insights into the local area around her.  

Allston Christmas and the Art of Decluttering

This past week we moved my MIL (mother in law) from her single apartment in a private residential Senior Living facility to an insurance qualified care facility.  This process of moving has been a continuum of moving from a primary home of fifty plus years to a two bedroom Assisted Living apartment with my FIL to a room in Memory Care and then a single once he passed away.  With each move the size of the room and storage space has gotten smaller and smaller and the cost of living higher and higher.    

As a realtor, mom and homeowner with three grown kids I see how much stuff we buy and hold on to.  As I look at my MIL and her new place I am hit with the reality that time goes by quickly and if one doesn't take responsibility of getting rid of clutter it burdens others. Having gone through this with my own parents in Florida 3 years ago I recognize this burden and don't want to put it on my kids.  Although not the primary care person for my in-laws I helped a bit but my SIL shared most of this burden.  

I have a basement filled with boxes of stuff that we no longer need or most likely will never use.  When I go to a clients home the first thing most need to do is declutter as a step towards getting ready to move.  Although many of us are tempted to pack and move things to our next locale it is always best to get rid of as much as possible. In Margareta Magnusson's book The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. she shares her techniques of carefully and thoughtfully divesting of her things so as not to impose on her offspring.  

Millenials get it and every fall there is a local event in Allston called Allston Christmas.  Most college students return to the area around September 1 and this is a popular lease term start. Those moving leave their unwanted furnishings out for others to take and  repurpose.  

For those a bit more settled and in suburbia there are many places where one can discard unwanted items such as Community Councils and Transfer Stations in town.  There are also services available to help get rid of the junk.  We used GotJunk this past week to dispose of the last remnants of my MIL's home that had made it to each of her prior locations as her new place now includes furniture.  

There are many great books out on how to start decluttering and getting rid of things.  A recent book I just read by Gretchen Rubin Outer Order, Inner Calm was a great kick start for me to launch a deep purge in my kitchen.  I am hoping to continue this process as the colder weather approaches.  If you need any further ideas on how to tackle this process feel free to reach out to me.  I have a network of professionals who also help facilitate these projects.  

Wendy is a Realtor with Coldwell Banker Needham and also works on Cape Cod during the warmer parts of the year.  She loves walking her dog, traveling, reading, exercising and keeping up with friends and clients.  She also loves coffee and will happily meet anyone interested at a local Starbucks near Needham and Mashpee.  

Pass over the clutter and spring cleaning

As the spring holiday of Passover approaches I always try to clean my home in anticipation of hosting a seder dinner.  I got a jump start on my adrenal by helping a family member move to a new apartment in New York, a few weeks ago and this was my primary inspiration to this blog.  My next motivation came as I started cleaning my kitchen and found the March issue of Prevention Magazine under piles of mail.  One article that popped out was How to Declutter Your Home, One Room at a Time.  In this article are simple steps to declutter your home and simplify your life.   There are 26 small steps suggested to do one day at a time.   

As I approached the move in New York,  I had a sudden clutter attack when I entered a room full of "stuff".  Although I try to keep accumulated things under control in my own home, this was not the case in this apartment.  I was overwhelmed by the amount of stuff that could be passed over (and thrown out) and the importance of getting rid of things as one goes along.  After an intense attack session we managed to clear the room out in under 10 hours.  See the photos below.  

We need to get in the habit of getting rid of clutter.  Each time you buy a new clothing garment, for example, ask yourself ....is there an older one you will no longer wear? If yes give it away.  After you use a toiletry item, throw it out or after you finish reading a magazine recycle it.  Clean up as you go.  Do your laundry weekly so it doesn’t pile up to 90 plus pounds.  Get rid of the junk and clutter as it can grow beyond control.  If you move frequently (millennials- learn to go with the minimalist lifestyle as it is much easier to pick up and go).  

BEFORE PHOTO

AFTER PHOTO

If you are feeling the declutter vibes there are many great articles and books on this subject.  One author who has inspired me is Gretchen Rubin who wrote The Happiness Project .  She has a new book out  Outer Order, Inner Calm which definitely goes into depth about simplifying life to be calmer.  Perhaps you now feel inspired to get a jump start on a cleaning project.  If you don't know where to begin you can always hire a professional (I have a network for referrals) but it just takes drive and small steps.   You will feel much better as you shed the excess.  I wish you a happy and clutter free start to spring holidays and a simplified summer.

Wendy is a realtor at Coldwell Banker Needham who loves to read, write, walk her dog and work towards a simpler lifestyle.   You can visit her blog at www.wendybcb.com.  

How to get rid of your stuff-garage sale?

How to Have a Successful Garage Sale
Its spring time and most of us feel inspired to do some spring cleaning.   Previously I have posted several blog posts about decluttering and downsizing.  I am now going to share some ideas on how to actually get rid of your "stuff".  One has the choice of giving things away, donating them or selling them.  The first two options are a great way to repurpose your treasures by sharing them with either someone who will appreciate them or possibly have a need for items they otherwise may not be able to purchase.

There are several methods available if you are considering the option of selling your things.  If you have a lot of time you may consider selling things online on sites such as Ebay or Craigslist.  If you are a facebook user many areas have Marketplace sections where you can also sell items.  These sites require you to take a photo of the item, write a description and post a price.  You have the option of shipping (you can charge the shipping fee) or arrange for pick up if local.  If you agree to have a local pickup you need to be cautious and may want to meet the purchaser as a mutually agreed upon public space.  For safety purposes I would not recommend welcoming an unknown buyer to your personal home.
I know from experience that the above methods are extremely time consuming and labor intensive.  In addition you need to be readily available to ship an item when there is an interested buyer.

If you decide to go the yard sale route it can be a fun social way to have a one weekend event.  The frequent problem though is that more often than not buyers cherry pick and may leave you with the "junk" you still need to get rid of.  Sometimes you get lucky and it is often true that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.  Many times garage sales have benefited both buyer and seller. If you do decide to go this route below are suggestions to make this effort a success. 

What to Sell
lBecause variety is the spice of life, garage sale shoppers prefer sales that feature a little bit of everything. If you have nothing but used clothing and toys to sell, wait until you can pull together a few more items.  When deciding what to sell, never underestimate the value for absolute junk. One of my neighbors last year was selling used Tupperware containers.  Although shocked they are great for artists to use to paint or store supplies.  If you haven’t used something in the past year, put it up for sale.  lSince dealers and antique collectors frequent garage sales, proudly display one-of-a-kind items.  Buyers look for household items such as dressers, bookcases, baskets, tables, toys, and tools. If you do decide to sell appliances, make sure they work or if they note, include a receipt saying you are selling it for the parts.  You don't want to have the buyer return it because it didn't work. You may want to. have an outlet for buyers to test a TV set before buying it.

How to Price
Be sure to label and put price tags on items. Customers may assume that unmarked items are out of their price range. Part of the fun of a yard sale is that buyers want to get a "good" deal.  Be prepared to haggle. Price things higher than the price you really want for it so you can accept discounted offers.   Most garage sale enthusiasts love to negotiate but if you are selling something that you value it’s okay to say, “I’m firm on that price.”  Price things you want to move fairly.  It is common to sell items at a 10-30% discount from retail. 

How to Display
Presentation is important.  Be sure everything looks clean and if dishes sparkling.  Larger items bring the most foot traffic. If you sell a couch or table early in the day, ask if you can keep the item with a “sold” sign on it until the end of the day.
Keep things organized.  Clothing on racks sells higher than similar items thrown on a blanket. If possible, hang a line in your garage or buy a portable rack. People who dig through boxes expect to pay much less for those items.
Clearly mark your sales area or buyers may try to buy items you hadn't intended to sell. If you have a sale in your garage, cover the lawn mower, shovels, and rakes.
Attract attention with eye-catching balloons and signs.

How to Publicize
Use social media and if practical you may want to place an ad in a local newspaper.  Also it is a good idea to put posters around town and post at local community areas at strategic locations, directing traffic to your neighborhood, street, and house.  When the sale is complete don’t forget to take them dow.

When to Sell
Yard sales attract the most customers when the weather is nice.  Be sure to check the weather forecast before planning your sale.  Spring and fall are often good times to sell.  Saturday is often the best day for a yard or garage sale, though this varies regionally. In some places, people tend to favor Thursday or Friday sales. If you are new to an area, ask around to see which days are the most popular for sales.

What to Do with Leftovers

At the end of your sale you may have many items left.  You can decide if you want to donate these or store them away for a future sale.  If you decide to donate be sure to arrange to get a donation receipt as you may be able to get a donation benefit.  Again remember that one person's junk may be another person's treasure.

Clean and enjoy the new found space you have once you reorganize after the sale.  Feel proud that you were able to purge whatever you did.

If you need advise or ideas on how to get rid of your things feel free to reach out to me.  I have a great network of people who specialize in helping with the downsizing and process of asset liquidation.  

Wendy is a realtor with Coldwell Banker Needham,  She has her SRES and specializes in helping clients with the downsizing process.  You can read more about her at her website.  www.wendybcb.comwww.wendybcb.com.  

Decluttering is a state of mind and helps simplify the day

On my real estate page and on this blog, I frequently share articles about decluttering and organizing one's home. The more I read and struggle to keep my own space decluttered the more I realize it all starts with your state of mind.  

Prevention Magazine has recently done a series of articles on how to better focus. One of the most valuable ones I found is here  Declutter your mind.  Our thought process and how we approach each day is the roadmap for our success.  It is important to have a focus on what you need to do and minimize potential distractions. Like an athlete who needs to focus on his sport,  we need to clear our heads to focus on how to maximize our time and energy.  One way for me to stay focused and "decluttered in my brain" is yoga .  To escape the business in my life I will often do a 15-30 minute routine.  This helps me to stay grounded.  

In parallel to decluttering my mind, I am also trying to organize my financial life particularly with tax season approaching.   There was a great article Financial Fast featuring Michelle Singletary on how to have better focus on your finances and shopping habits.  By not being aware of these behaviors we tend to buy excessively rather than only purchasing what we really need. This can create impulse buying and feed your clutter. Michelle published a book last year called The 21 Day Financial Fast that teaches how to break bad spending habits.

Like your brain, if you don't have a handle on your needs vs wants  (a sense of what you already own vs a specific items you may need for a purpose),  you may fall into the trap of buying things just for the sake of owning them .  I did the financial fast last year and now limit my purchases to items I will really use.  I no longer buy an item to wear just once (unless its for a specific reason) and instead buy practical items that I will get much use out of.

Last week I spent a full day cleaning and organizing my kitchen.  I was inspired by an article I came across Kitchen clutter. I went through each cabinet and threw out expired foods, recycled a box of unused plastic containers and "bags and bags" of bags.  I purged outdated gadgets that I haven't used since my bridal shower (over 30 years ago).  I actually found a waffle maker that I thought I had thrown out when I looked for it recently.  As of this weekend all my counters and cabinets are clean and well organized.  I can see the food items I have and what items I need to buy.

I have to admit it feels great to have the room where I spend most of my awake time under control.  Not only do I eat in the kitchen but it is also my preferred home workspace.  I am now able to focus on the work in front of me when I gaze up at the empty counter tops.  I have a place to file my mail and a recycle bin on-hand.  My goal now is to spend 15 minutes every night to keep it this way.  I am now ready to tackle the rest of my house.

Wendy is a realtor at Coldwell Banker in Needham.  If you would like more tips on decluttering you can read check her previous blogs.  She also frequently posts new articles on her facebook page @wendybcb.