'Tis the Season...To Be Stressed Out? (Some easy tips and recommended reading)

What causes holiday stress? This should be the happiest time of year right?  We have friends and family coming to call, lots of parties,  the exchanging of thanks through gifts and just general jocularity? Maybe though these are the very things that cause stress, says Sandy Bailey, family and human development specialist at Montana State University Extension Service.

"The hustle and bustle of getting ready for family and friends can cause us to feel rushed and overwhelmed," she says. Unrealistic expectations, extra chores, money woes and changes in schedules can create holiday anxiety.

Bailey defines stress as “the pressure from the outside that makes us tense on the inside. It is the response to real or perceived demands placed on us, even in so-called positive situations like the holidays.” 

I take this to mean that to reduce stress I need to feel like I am in control of the stimuli around me.  This enables me to better focus on the things I need to do. I would like to share a few tips I follow when I need to get my mind back in the right place.  

1-take a breather whether it be a coffee break ( I often enjoy a grande darkroast coffee at Starbucks for a quick get away where I can sit back and regroup)

2-keep up your exercise routine.  Even if it is a quick run or yoga/breathing exercise I block this time on my calendar.

3-think about a favorite food you like, then find the recipe and plan a meal around it.

4-while you are shopping for others take care of yourself too.  If I see something I really like (if on sale)  I will always take advantage when I can.  

  

5- go to a movie, this is a cheap way to take a little staycation and transport your mind for a few hours of freedom.  Yesterday I saw Mary Poppins Returns and it brought me back to my happy childhood memories. 

If none of these help, I also recommend two great books I just finished.  First The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson gave me insight into not worrying about how everyone perceives me.   Whatever you say or think is important and you deserve to have the respect of anyone who would challenge and make you uncomfortable.  Second is Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson and Joseph Grenny.  This book taught me that most areas of stress are caused by fear of the unknown reaction.  If you can understand the fears in both you and your guests, you may better approach the start of conversations that otherwise may cause confrontation.  I found both of these books have given me new tools to deal with my outside fear triggers.  

Be sure to get plenty of rest and eat well. Too much junk food causes sugar highs and can cause an imbalance.  Keep your plans flexible.  Remember real life is constantly moving and nothing has to be set in concrete.    

Wendy is a realtor with Coldwell Banker Needham. She enjoys thinking outside the box and the ability to incorporate each of the above suggestions in to her daily life. She hopes you will find them useful as tools as you move towards 2019.  

Welcome to my coffee house

Those who know me know that I am a coffee drinker and I confess that I do have a daily addiction.  I actually get a headache if I go a prolonged period of time without a cup of joe.  How did my "habit" start and why do I continue,  you may ask?

In today's Wall Street Journal there was in interesting article on the history of the coffee house and its evolution since ancient times.  My history does not have such longevity but I would suggest typifies many amongst my peers.

Coffee and I go way back to childhood.  As a kid I hated to drink milk.  I was not into the fake syrupy additives like chocolate syrup or coffee-tyme.  Instead my Mom used to give me a glass of milk that was half milk, half Maxwell House.    Since that was also my brother's first name I came to think this was common place.  I gradually began to add more coffee and less milk as I aged through high school.  Once I began college,  my true love for coffee began.  It became a way to stay up late at night and study for an exam.  It became a way to take a quick study break at the Campus Center and an easy inexpensive way to meet up with friends.

As I moved through young adulthood and parenthood,  the local coffee shop became an easy venue to meet up with friends and other new parents.  It was a place to sit, talk and sip a warm drink when it was too cold to be outside.  As the Coffee Connection and soon Starbucks emerged into my geographic area this quickly became part of my daily routine.  Since that time there have been many new entries to the coffee shop market but I have consistently looked forward to each visit to the nearby Needham or Wellesley Starbucks.

To this day, Starbucks is still a place I visit frequently.  I have expanded my geography to also now include the Starbucks at Mashpee Commons during my summer months on the Cape.  Particularly in the warmer months it is a welcoming place to sit outside and schmooze with my dog.  She too enjoys our little visits and gets very excited when I bring her water in a Starbucks plastic cup.  I also admit I love the Starbucks App as when it is just the two of us I can preorder a coffee, run in, grab it and stake a table outside.  I also use it often if I am in a rush to take a cup to another venue.

Of late I have been sitting at my local Starbucks to do work on my laptop.  As a realtor it has become the perfect offsite office for me.  Instead of sitting in an isolated cubicle it is a great place to meet with potential clients and colleagues to network.  I have in fact spent hours scheduling back to back meetings.  I will often have a few work related meetings and then a few social catch-ups back to back.  An additional hidden benefit of  this venue is that it allows me to be in the midst of conversation about the local area and trends.  I like to always be aware of what is going on in my marketplace.

If you see me sitting by myself at Starbucks always feel free to pull up a chair and say hello. Likewise if it looks like I am in a meeting a quick hello is always welcome in my coffeehouse.

Wendy is a sales associate with Coldwell Banker Needham.  She shares her time between her base office in Needham and Mashpee/New Seabury on the Cape.  You can often find her at the local Starbucks.  For more information on how to connect with her click here .wendybcb.com

The basics to a happy home and balanced day

A common phrase I hear a lot as a realtor is that "Home is where the heart is".  I believe one of the things that defines home is a place where people feel comfortable and welcomed.   This  type of environment is not defined by the size or age of the property but rather by the ambience set by its owners.  No matter the square footage of a house,  the kitchen often becomes the epicenter of the property.  One lesson I learned from my parents (who had the smallest house of  all my friends)  was that it was alway very important to be a good hostess to anyone crossing the threshold.  It was important to always have a full kitchen and to offer beverages (either warm or cold) to anyone who visited.   Following through with this philosophy in life is to always be prepared and able to serve my guests.  You never know who may come by unexpectedly.  Thus when I set up my kitchen below I am sharing my basic vital items that I always keep on hand.

As many of my friends know I am a big coffee drinker.  I frequent Starbucks and have more recently learned how to make a good brew at my house.  In fact, the first purchase for my house even before kitchen furniture was a coffee maker.  I have more recently acquired different coffee maker devices specific to my crowd.  (see my toys in bottom photo).  Depending on the guest size,  I will make a pour over cup if it is just for me or use a Keurig for my husband who loves flavored coffee.  If I have a large group I will brew a pot of coffee.  A good cup of coffee is particularly enjoyed earlier in the day.  It is also great as a mid-afternoon pick me up or after a meal with dessert.   In addition,  coffee is always great to offer a guest who may be doing work at one's home during the day.  (Of note, I also keep a full stock of tea bags on hand).  My guests often say I run a great local coffee shop!

Conversely towards evening a libation is a great way to wrap up a busy day.   Most adults (over 21) I know will enjoy a glass of wine.  Wine is a the holy drink of many religions but has also become the versatile drink to have as the day winds down for even the agnostic.   I often enjoy having a glass before dinner (sometimes while cooking).  I also welcome the chance to share a glass of wine with guests  often accompanied by appetizers or during a home cooked dinner.  Wine is perfect to serve during a party or  an evening social event , as well, such as bookclub.

For the non-drinkers I always have some ice cream on hand in my freezer as this is something easy to serve that generally disappears quicker than it would perish.    Who doesn't love ice cream?  This is alway my happy food and my last basic stock item.  Guests of all ages can't say no to a little treat and just the mention often brings a smile to ones face.  These days I try to keep a supply of regular and low sugar options as some of us have to watch our diets.  Although there is nothing better than Brighams Ice Cream,  the Halo flavors are low in sugar and high in protein and a great alternative.  Ice cream is a great mid afternoon snack or after dinner dessert.  It is also a great late night munch.

These days with the all the turmoil in the world, all three of my above basics can help one get through each challenging day.  I enjoy a cup of coffee at home when I wake up in the morning as I read the newspaper and catch up on my social media feed.  I may also pick up a cup mid-day as a pick me up.  Incidentally studies have shown positive health effects on drinking coffee including longevity.  More often than not,  most of the turmoil is a bit abnormal and once I get home at the end of the day, a glass of wine is quite welcome while I watch World News.  I sip it slowly as I prepare dinner and generally finish it off with my meal.  My doctor actually told me a glass of Red Wine in moderation is actually good for my heart and we all love to listen to "Doctor's Orders".  Lastly depending on how much I ate at dinner I will have a small scoop of ice cream for dessert or sneak downstairs and have a bit later in the evening before catching the daily recap on late night comedy shows.

As my readers can see, my three basics have been the key ingredients to make my house a happy home.  Whether I am entertaining or home alone, these easy items enable me to be a good hostess or to keep balance in my daily homelife.  I love hearing from others about what simple things make them happy and help make their homes their happy place.  Maybe we can meet up in person and discuss over a cup of coffee or a glass of wine.

Wendy is a realtor with Coldwell Banker Needham.  She enjoys writing about local events and issues near and dear to her heart.  Please visit her website www.wendybcb.com or visit her Facebook page @wendybcb.