How to break a Strange Loop

Last week I saw the new musical by Michael R. Jackson,  A Strange Loop and it made me think about the loops in my life. The key character in the play was a gay usher who wanted to write a musical about his coming out to share who he was with his family and audience. He initially allowed his thought patterns to limit development of his story throughout the show (his inner conscience was played by the other 6 cast members). There are no spoiler alerts here, except that by the end he overcame his inner obstacles to create a musical nominated for 11 Tony Awards. 

The key takeaway from the play is that we often limit our internal beliefs by not being able to accept the reality around us.  As author, Mark Manson shares in a recent article  about being stuck, this is similiar to an elephant being tied to a pole. If we open our eyes to new possibilities, we can move forward and incorporate changes into our lives. We are each responsible for our own stories.

The saying “love is blind” applies to many aspects of our lives. You may be in a trancelike state when you start something new or likewise idealize a situation you face. Often your endorphins are on high alert and the dopamine’s create a sense of comfort for you. On the flip side, you may experience extreme anger when something doesn’t go the way you expect. Sometimes you blame others and stage yourself as the victim.

 

Once the experience begins to level off you need to look introspectively. This should be a wake-up call.  Pay attention to the inner and outer voices around you. Accept when it is time to move on. Take ownership of the positive and negatives in your life and use them as opportunities to heighten self-awareness and personal development. Sometimes outside intervention can be helpful to attain emotional balance. 

If you continue to stay "stuck in the loop" you will not be true to yourself.  You are only causing yourself damage. People change as do thought patterns. We each need to accept this and move on. Allow each day to open doors and windows. This may mean you need to get out of your head and process reactions from those around you. Use these experiences to become self-aware and open to new beginnings. If not, you may not be able to create your story and will continue to stay stuck in A Strange Loop.

Wendy is a Realtor and Freelance writer residing on Cape Cod. She enjoys networking and writing to connect her ideas and curiosities with people she meets.   She welcomes your comments.  

As We Celebrate Mother's Day What Makes You Happy?

 

We are often asked this question as an ice breaker with new friends, during job interviews, or at random social gatherings.  This topic comes up frequently. There are numerous books and google searches for the secret to happiness. It is asked in one form or another at every networking event attended. Happiness appears to be a trendy status measure and thus we are quick to answer.  The expectation is that everyone around us is happy. We are inundated with shares of how great life is on all forms of social media platforms. On the surface, it is easy to say we are happy but what does this mean? There is so much going on in the world, and to navigate life’s daily challenges, I have attempted to better understand my path to happiness. 

As an avid reader and student of life's curiosities, I began exploring this concept several years back when I read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  She looked at a multitude of things we normally do with ideas to be more intentional with focus. The goal is to make our lives more meaningful and fulfilling. My approach was to read one chapter per month as I tackled little things that made my day-to-day life happy. Examples included making time to listen to others, clearing physical space to be able to work, and exercising routines to clear my mind. I also read Maria Condo’s book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing and figured out how to find “joy” in the things I keep in possession. 

Last year I downsized and have started to begin a new life path that would allow me to explore this question in greater depth.  I am learning how to prioritize and say Let It Go to the things that weigh me down by setting boundaries and doing things I want to focus on. It takes self-awareness to learn to say no and that we can’t do it all.  There are only so many hours in a day and we need to figure out what will bring the most satisfaction for the effort expended. 

Over the past year, I have started to shift my career focus to freelance writing. I have been taking courses with the AWAI where this topic often comes up in writing prompts. Most recently as a writer, I began posting “happiness is” posts on Instagram as my form of a gratitude journal. I am trying to figure out what makes me happy on a more focused basis at the end of each day.

My passion has always been to help people find the right resources to achieve their goals.  I see myself as a connector.  I have been strong as a project manager and therefore my brain automatically thinks about the task at hand and the pieces needed to get the desired result.  This can be simple things like someone needing a helping hand with a household project or working with a non-profit to plan a fundraising benefit event. I particularly love things centered around the arts and have been a producer for over 30 community theater-based musicals. 

As I was thinking about this theme today as I just purchased tickets to see the revival of Funny Girl on Broadway this weekend. The song People had just come on Amazon music. I have always considered myself a people person. It clicked that this is what makes me happy. The opportunity for me to be around others to create a positive result from our connection makes me happy. 

In my new book Coffee Connections: Finding Common Ground Through My Daily Brew I use coffee to connect with others. The book's primary theme is how coffee meet-ups have served as a mechanism to find a common bonding before tackling a project. I flourish when I can be with others, and we connect for a mutually beneficial cause. This motivates and makes me happy. I guess I can answer the question as I better understand that “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world”. I hope everyone reading this will be inspired to figure out what makes them happy. Wishing all the great MOMS out there a Happy Mother's Day!!

Wendy is a Realtor and Freelance writer residing on Cape Cod. She enjoys networking and writing to connect her ideas and curiosities with people she meets.   She welcomes your comments.